To Be or Not To Be...It's really not that hard, Hamlet.

Gorilla Rep Theatre Company put on a free production of Hamlet outdoors at The Cloisters. The Cloisters is up in Inwood, the very top of Manhattan, and it's breathtakingly gorgeous. I want to go back when I have the hour and a half to spare for the commute. I had to take the A Train to get there, which I had only taken a few times before and which is quite possibly the most frustrating train in the city. It kept switching from local to express and back again, so I had no idea where I was going to end up or when I was going to get there. And since I was alone and am directionally retarded, I had reason to worry.

I finally made it to the 190th Street stop and tried my best to follow the signs to The Cloisters. By the time I found the park I was already 15 minutes late to the production, so I decided to ask the ice cream man where to find the Prince of Denmark. He told me "Just follow the path down, you'll run right into it." Seems simple, yes? Factor in darkness and about 5 paths to choose from, and you can begin to understand why I wasn't satisfied with his directions. Fortunately, one of the genius crew members or actors in the cast had drawn little arrows on the ground with sidewalk chalk pointing me toward the production. I found my friends sitting on a blanket and found out they were only on scene 3. It was then that I also found out that this particular production of Hamlet was entirely uncut...and had no intermission.

All in all, the production wasn't bad. It was a cool idea to do it outdoors, especially considering how nice the weather has been. They also used 5 or 6 different locations outside, so the audience had to get up and move along with the cast from location to location. Eventually, my group got tired of walking so we just stayed where we were and missed a few scenes. I was okay with that...I've heard this story before.

Even though it wasn't the best show I've ever seen, it was free. And more importantly, it was the first time I've experienced live theatre in the city since I moved here. It felt so good to see people doing what I want to do, to kind of be reminded of why I came here in the first place. It's been almost 2 months since I have performed, and watching someone else do it made me crave it again. I miss the rehearsal process, the adrenaline rush as the curtain flies up, the family you create with every cast you're a part of. I realize that everything I have done so far (like finding jobs and a place to live) was very important. But I almost let myself forget why I came, what I came here to be. I need to get myself out there and audition. I know what I want to be. And for that matter, what I don't want to be...which is a cater waiter for the rest of my life. I want to be an artist. I want to be a vessel for the words of a playwright, the visual representation of a message that needs to be communicated. I want to make a difference.

It would be easier for me to let my insecurities and my nerves get the best of me, just enjoy living in the city and getting by with my catering jobs. But I'm not really living my dream until I pursue it fully, until I take this great opportunity and try to do what I feel is something I am meant to do here. I will not be tormented by the question that Hamlet has been debating since Queen Elizabeth was in office and men thought it was cool to wear tights. I'm blessed enough to have found a purpose here, and I choose to be.

"This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me."- George Bernard Shaw

On another note, here are some after pics of the apartment. We haven't really put much on the walls yet. That will come when our paychecks come :)

The Living Room


The Kitchen



The Dining Room


My Room




The Entry Way



The Bathroom



Kara's Room